More letters, said anonymously.

you said 'text me when you get home' and i rolled my eyes. nobody checks now. that wasnt clingy. that was someone wanting me alive. i pushed you away

you call me 'new girl' with a smirk at every family dinner and kick me under the table and he thinks we just have great sibling energy. we dated

i kept your ex's number after your breakup 'for emergencies' and by emergencies i meant i wanted him. by best friend i meant a terrible one. im sorry

i told a lie about you seeing someone else because i was jealous you found love first. you cried in my arms about it. it was me

i told your girlfriend long distance never works because i wanted a shot when you were far. you two broke up. that was me. im not proud

we were lab partners and you dated my roommate and now its years later and youre single and i rearranged my whole week to be at the reunion. see you saturday

your wife replies to my stories at midnight and its all very 'networking' until it isnt and we both know which message flips it. neither of us has sent it. yet

i replay the 40 minutes we talked at that party on loop. you probably dont even remember it. i memorized it

you called me your best friend in front of everyone and i had to leave the room so nobody saw my face. i needed that

we drifted and nobody did anything wrong and thats the part that gets me. theres no fight to fix. we just stopped. i still think of you as my best friend

im out with 'the girls' every friday. theres no girls. theres one guy and we just talk and thats the part i cant admit. its worse than sex somehow

you always saved me the aisle seat at the movies because you knew i had to pee. nobody knows my seat anymore. i miss being someones habit

you left me your record player when you moved and i play it every sunday and for three minutes i can pretend youre home

you and my best friend hooked up before he and i met and you both agreed never to tell me and i found out and now i just. know. and neither of you knows i know

you texted me 'if this doesnt work out call me' the night you got engaged. i screenshotted it. ive never used it. i just keep it

my husband and my ex are golf buddies now and neither knows and i pour their wine at dinners while they laugh about a 'crazy girl.' its me. im the girl

youre the friend i'd call at 3am no questions and i've never told you that because saying it out loud feels too big. but you are. its you. always been you

you cooked for me every sunday for two years and i never once said it meant anything. some other guy gets sundays now

you laughed at something dumb i said three years ago and i've been chasing that laugh in every conversation since. i'd say anything to hear it again. anything

i saved every voicemail you ever left me. even the boring ones. especially the boring ones

i've had a crush on you since you were 'my brothers annoying friend.' now youre just. all i think about. help

i've loved you for eight years. you got married in spring. i caught the bouquet and everyone cheered. worst moment of my life

you made me a groomsman and i gave a speech about your 'perfect love' with a straight face while quietly in love with the bride

you texted me 'proud of you' after the interview and i screenshotted it and its still my lock screen. dont look at my phone. or do. its you

you always ran ahead on walks and looked back to check i was coming. nobody looks back for me now. i miss it

im happy with him and i still dream about a guy i knew for two weeks five years ago and wake up feeling like i cheated. apparently at night were still together

you texted me goodnight once by accident, meant for someone else, and i said goodnight back and pretended it was for me. it wasnt. i know. i still smiled

i was so jealous when you got engaged first i couldnt even fake the smile. you saw it. we never talked about it. im sorry

we had a bench that wasnt legally ours but it was ours. i went back. someone carved new initials over it. i wasnt ok

you made me a playlist for our anniversary and i said 'aw thanks' and shuffled it once. i listen to it daily now. i never told you